Well now I was waitin’ in line for my turn to get gas
I was number eighty-seven and movin’ up real fast
When I happened to notice about four cars back
There was a wild red-eyed dude in a big blue Cadillac
He said “I’ve been to damned near every gas station in this town”
Said “My mind’s about to go and my resistance is down”
Said “My brain’s a-getting’ fuzzy and my patience worn out”
Then he crawled up on his hood and we all heard him shout:


Who was the man who put the line in gasoline?
President, or chairman oils or Arab king
Was it just a crude joke or is it more obscene?
Who was the man who put the line in gasoline?

Meanwhile, back in line things were goin’ real fine
This eighteen-foot motor-home – well it changed owners three times
A lady who got pregnant back by the speed bump
Had given birth to twins by the time she reached the pump
There was a barmitzvah in a Lincoln and a wedding in a Jeep
And some ol’ dude in an Edzel just kept fallin’ asleep
Well they come for the man in the Cadillac and they hauled him away
A-kickin’ and a-screaming and again we heard him say:


Well it seemed like days later when they topped off my tank
I shelled out twenty dollars and somebody mumbled “Thanks”
I crawled back in the driver’s seat and I started to drive
When my right door flew open and this nut crawled inside
And on his face he had a mask and he was holdin’ a gun
He said “This is pre-meditated, highway robbery, son,
Then he took a can and a syphon hose from under his mask
He said “You can keep your money – just hand over your gas”


Yes, who was the man who put the line in gas….
To do this to us it just ain’t human
The gas is gone and now we’re fumin’
Who put the “line” in gasoline?